Understanding Anxiety in the Life of Veterans
Anxiety in the scheme and life of things comes in many different forms and changes within the confines and communities of military Veterans. Soldiering is not a minimal commitment- there are soldiers that deserve and earn the designation of shit-bag, but I would make it known that perhaps they are not in the general sense of the word when they get out of the military. Soldiers, Seaman, Marines, Air Men, and etcetera become generally the most reliable people that you meet in the world. There is a truth to why employers would rather hire Veterans at general glance because they are reliable. And that they can maintain their high productivity without an issue. Sometimes, though, anxiety will creep into a Veteran and even though they may know the signs they don’t know how to cope with it.
How Small Triggers Create Big Anxiety
Anxiety in military Veterans may set in over the smallest of things for a Veteran (combat or otherwise), it could be because they didn’t have the breakfast they were expecting, starting the day off badly throws off their day, it could be as simple as their alarm woke them up in a manner that they weren’t ready for, the little things… always the little things often turn them into having lightning through their veins and body. Pushing the boundaries often creates more anxiety in military Veterans in the life. Oftentimes creating a barrier that Veterans will push others away.
The Myth of the “Lucky” Veteran Transition
It Happens… What?! It…
Not every Veteran becomes Forrest Gump or stumbles into the kind of luck Winston Groom’s bumbling character receives. More often, Veterans experience the opposite—they feel unsupported and begin to see themselves as a burden, especially to their friends and family. They find themselves grouped into a world they never imagined they would belong to when they first raised their right hand.
Most service members, I would argue, avoid sick call altogether out of fear of being labeled a shit-bag. Because, apparently, no one in the military ever gets sick or injured—except the worst of the worst. The reality is that many Veterans later regret that decision. Without medical documentation, they lack the records needed to take care of themselves after service, which becomes yet another source of anxiety as they get older and more worn down.
But what if it were different? What if leadership actively encouraged soldiers to take care of themselves—without making them feel less-than for doing so? What if leaders helped them understand that the mission can and will be accomplished without them in the moment, in a way that sets them up for long-term success? Mission or otherwise.…
Soldiering Does Not Turn Off After Service
Being a soldier is not something one just simply turns off. As a matter-of-fact, I would contend that soldiering becomes more ingrained into a person after service. This is what they know, what they understand, and this is how the civilian world becomes a mystery to them again.
Loss of Camaraderie and Purpose in Civilian Life
Oftentimes; service members really don’t realize what they are losing at the time that they lose it. In the civilian world people do not rely on one another as if is a life and death situation. Many times in the combat military member it very much is life and death. Pushing it to just the mundane. Often crushing the “soul” of a military member. Followed by not having the camaraderie that service members come to enjoy amongst their peers.
This all creates the potential for anxiety. And that is without throwing actual combat into the mix. The best line from any movie about the military comes from First Blood:
"Back there I could fly a gunship, I could drive a tank, I was in charge of million dollar equipment, back here I can't even hold a job parking cars!"
— John J. Rambo (1982) [First Blood, Stallone, Sylvester]
PTSD, Identity, and Public Perception
Add into the mix today’s younger generational military Veterans that were military service members didn’t do themselves any favors with their flying colors or social media texts talking about being a dysfunctional Veteran with anxiety. Just because one has PTSD, the world doesn’t have to know it. There’s a point in keeping diagnosis to themselves.
Think about this for a moment: a civilian goes to the doctor with a cut on their arm. It’s treated, they get a bandage, and they move on. They don’t tell the world about it—they were treated and life continues.
PTSD isn’t the same kind of injury, but the contrast matters. Too often, a Veteran leaves the doctor with a PTSD diagnosis and then wears it on their sleeve, expecting it to be accommodated everywhere they go, instead of treating it as something to manage and live with—like a bandage, not an identity.
Personal Perspective: Living With PTSD and TBI
Living with PTSD as well as with a TBI there is a certain amount of gravitas that you have to give yourself to remain relevant—not to the world, but to yourself. You learn very quickly that the things that used to make you exceptional in uniform can make you feel out of place in civilian life. Hyper-awareness becomes anxiety. Discipline becomes rigidity. Readiness becomes exhaustion. With all of this comes moral-injury which includes depression.
The anxiety doesn’t always announce itself as panic. Sometimes it shows up as irritation or as withdrawal. Sometimes as the inability to sit still in a room full of people who don’t understand why silence feels louder than noise. And sometimes it shows up when nothing is wrong at all, which is often the hardest part to explain to family, friends, and even other Veterans.
You don’t stop scanning rooms or don’t stop planning exits. You don’t stop measuring time, effort, and risk. The fight-or-flight response that once kept you alive doesn’t disappear just because you turned in your gear. It just loses its mission—and when that happens, anxiety fills the vacuum.
The Quiet Weight Veterans Carry
This is the anxiety of everyday life for many Veterans. Not the Hollywood version. Not the broken caricature. Just the constant mental friction of being trained for one world and expected to seamlessly exist in another.
Civilian life rarely demands what the military demanded—but it also rarely provides what the military gave: clarity, purpose, accountability, and belonging. That loss is not weakness. It is absence. And anxiety grows very well in empty space.
Leadership’s Role in Veteran Anxiety
Leadership matters here — past and present. When we teach soldiers to ignore pain, suppress stress, and “drive on” at all costs, we shouldn’t be surprised when those habits follow them home. We trained them well. We just didn’t train them for what came next.
Becoming Something Else After the Military
The hardest transition is not leaving the military—it’s becoming something else without abandoning who you were. Veterans don’t need to be fixed. They need to be understood, challenged, and given room to recalibrate.
Anxiety does not erase competence. PTSD does not negate leadership. A diagnosis does not define a Veteran’s value. But ignoring these things, or wearing them as an identity instead of managing them as a condition, both create problems.
There is strength in discretion. There is strength in treatment. And there is strength in admitting that soldiering never really ends, it just changes form; regardless of your MOS in the military.
Final Thought: Anxiety Is Not Failure
Anxiety is not failure. For many Veterans, it is a byproduct of service. The goal isn’t to eliminate it entirely, but to understand it, manage it, and refuse to let it dictate who we become after the uniform comes off.
Until next time:
