Understanding Veteran Fatigue
I’m tired, Boss, day in and day out, "I’m tired, Boss!" That’s the truth. This is a tough and daily occurrence for someone like me. Now, I’m not the type of person who thrives in major crowds. I don’t seek the limelight. I’ve spoken in front of large and small groups as a Veteran, sharing my experiences, lessons learned, and what it means to serve—and I’ve done it well—but it’s exhausting. Standing there, commanding attention, hoping my words resonate, takes a toll. And if you’re like me, you feel that same pull at the end of the day. You just want to throw your hands up and admit it: “I’m tired, Boss.”
Sometimes I feel a little like John Coffey from The Green Mile, a quiet, heavy-hearted presence carrying more than I can always show. Just like Coffey, the weight of what I’ve experienced, what I’m responsible for, and what I aim to accomplish can settle on me until all I can do is sigh and accept it. And just like him, I’ve learned that acknowledging tiredness isn’t weakness. It’s part of being human.
The reality is, being tired isn’t something that happens only to Veterans, and it isn’t always physical. People from all walks of life, in all kinds of jobs, feel it. And it’s rarely the job itself that wears you down—it’s the mission. It’s the mental, emotional, and sometimes spiritual load you carry. The mission gives meaning and purpose, yes, but sometimes it does so at the expense of your energy.
Grandma Says
My grandmother used to tell me that the reason I was tired was because I was doing the work I was supposed to do. At the time, I didn’t fully appreciate it. I lived with her after coming off active duty, helping around the house while trying to find my footing in civilian life. Juggling full-time college, a full-time job working with youth at Bashor Children’s Home, building websites for clients, maintaining relationships, and keeping her house in order (mainly her lawncare and dishes). I was younger then, still tired, but exhausted, nonetheless. Even after church, I was drained.
Being tired is part of life when you commit yourself to work, mission, family, and personal growth. But it’s also a signal. A reminder to take care of yourself, to find balance, and to recharge. And that’s exactly what I’ve learned to do over the years—through exercise, connecting with God, spending time with loved ones, and building routines that work for me. Every routine is going to be different, and you must be aware of your own surroundings and how that will make you feel, but what works for me might be a start for you!
More Than Just Being Tired
When I say I’m tired, it’s not just my body that feels it. It’s my mind, my emotions, and sometimes even my spirit. Veterans often carry the misconception that fatigue comes from combat memories replaying at night. That’s true for some, sure—but not all of us. Fatigue can be mental, emotional, and even existential. My trauma is worse when I am driving not so much at night because I also take a med to help me sleep so I don’t remember my dreams, and I have the television on to help me turn off my brain.
Mental fatigue comes from responsibilities that never really end. Planning, leading, thinking, and problem-solving. Even if the mission is rewarding, it takes energy to focus every single day. Emotional fatigue shows up when you’re constantly caring for: family, friends, community, or even yourself. Giving empathy, support, and guidance is taxing, even when it’s meaningful work. Physical fatigue is obvious: working out, lifting weights, riding bikes, running errands, doing chores. Your body screams for rest, but your mind might still be racing.
Understanding that fatigue is multi-dimensional was the first step in taking care of myself. I learned that I couldn’t just push harder—I had to be intentional about rest and recovery, both mentally and physically.
The Healing Power of Nature and Outdoor Activities for Veterans
One of the most powerful ways I recharge is by being outdoors. Mountain biking and road biking aren’t just hobbies, they’re therapy. There’s something about being on two wheels, feeling the wind, and navigating trails that clear my head. It’s also when I pray, when I talk to God, and when I let my mind settle.
Sometimes I ride alone, sometimes with fellow Veterans who share similar experiences, or with friends who understand the grind. Being in nature, in motion, and in good company reminds me why I keep going. It’s a space to reflect, release stress, and recharge in a way that nothing else can replicate. Whether it’s a steep climb up a mountain trail or a calm ride down a scenic road, biking becomes meditation in motion. For me, it’s proof that exercise doesn’t have to be a chore—it can be a sanctuary.
Building Strength and Connection: Weightlifting with Family and Friends
Weightlifting with my sons is another form of self-care, though it looks different than biking. It’s not just about building muscles or staying fit, it’s about connection, discipline, and accountability. We push each other, joke, challenge each other, and celebrate progress. The home-gym becomes a place where fatigue is temporary, replaced by laughter, focus, and shared goals. And yes, sometimes there’s a little competition—but it’s healthy, and it reinforces the bond we share. Fitness isn’t just physical; it’s relational, too. Sharing this journey with someone you love increases the benefits. It’s one of the best ways I’ve found to combine self-care with family, purpose, and joy.
Sleep Solutions for Veterans: How to Manage Insomnia and Rest Better
Sleep has never been easy for me. I’m an insomniac, a side effect of military, and sometimes I need medication to get a full night’s rest. Over the years, I’ve found ways to manage it in a way that fits my life and mind. Weekends are my reprieve—I take naps when I can to let my body and brain catch up. Nightly sleep requires routine and discipline. I have a rule: no “doom scrolling,” put the phone down, usually watch a movie to wind down, and let the blue flickering light help me relax. I know some experts say blue light is harmful, but everyone is different, and for me, it works. Sleep is deeply personal. What works for me might not work for everyone, but the key is finding your rhythm, honoring your body’s signals, and making rest a priority—even if it takes experimentation and patience.
Mindfulness and Self-Care Practices Beyond Exercise
Exercise is critical, but it’s only one piece of the puzzle. True self-care requires attention to your mind and spirit as well. Writing these blogs is one of my ways to process life and work through fatigue. Sometimes I don’t finish them, but just putting my thoughts down gives me clarity. Prayer is another tool that grounds me. Talking to God, sharing my burdens, asking for guidance—it’s a powerful reset.
Mentorship plays a huge role too.
Conversations with Veterans and civilians alike help me see life from multiple perspectives. Sometimes they offer wisdom; sometimes, they just listen. Both are equally important. The takeaway? Self-care isn’t just physical. It’s emotional, spiritual, and relational. Writing, praying, and mentoring are as much part of my wellness routine as biking or lifting.
I have a great friend that I often call on in the morning when I am still feeling the ilk from the night before (when I remember the nightmares or just tossed and turn ambivalent of that Ambien) and he helps ground me in my faith, my life, and my thought processes. He understands that sometimes I just need to listen or talk.
Breaking Misconceptions About Veteran Fatigue
One of the biggest misconceptions about Veterans is that we’re tired because we’re haunted by combat memories. Media likes to paint that picture—but it’s not always true. We didn’t all see our best friends die in combat or in our arms, but those of us that are Combat Veterans did feel the immense sense of dread at one point or another. Combat fatigue is real, yes, but for many of us, exhaustion comes from life itself: responsibilities, mission, family, work, and striving to make a difference every day. Understanding this helped me stop feeling guilty for being tired. Fatigue isn’t weak. It’s a signal. It’s a reminder that we’re human, that we’re engaged, that we’re trying. And here’s the thing: even if your mission is meaningful, even if your work gives purpose, it will wear on you.
That doesn’t mean stop! It means respect yourself enough to rest, recharge, and take care of the vessel carrying the mission forward. And if you do not have a mission, I would urge you to find a mission. Find something that you are passionate about and make that your mission. Find a camaraderie group that will help you with said mission and make it about you at times, make it about the passion that you have.
If you are passionate about Veterans, join a camaraderie group (or nonprofit). Passionate about cars, find a car group… motorcycles, you know the drill. Find something that you can share with someone at the end of the day and enjoy your time with that person. Eventually, you might even be able to talk to said person about what stresses you out and why you are tired.
Finding Hope and Actionable Steps for Recharging
Being tired doesn’t have to be a defeat. It can be a compass. It can teach you where you need rest, what gives you energy, and what actually matters. My hope for anyone reading this is simple: fatigue is normal, but you can do something about it. You don’t have to accept being drained as a permanent state. Start small. Maybe it’s a short bike ride, a five-minute prayer, a conversation with a mentor, or laying down for a power nap. Small steps compound into real change. Here’s the challenge: take one action this week that restores you. Protect your sleep, get on a trail, lift some weights, or write down what’s weighing on your mind. Commit to it. Honor your body, mind, and spirit. You’ll be amazed at what a little intentional care can do.
Respect Your Fatigue and Keep Moving Forward
So, yes— “I’m tired, Boss.” Some days more than others. But I’ve learned that being tired doesn’t make me weak. It makes me human. It makes me aware. And it makes me intentional about the way I live, the way I work, and how I care for myself. Fatigue is a signal to pause, reflect, and recharge. It’s a reminder that purpose is powerful, but self-care is essential. Being tired isn’t the end of the story, it’s the prelude to growth, resilience, and renewed energy. And maybe… just maybe… I will get there myself and everything that I am writing here will be also true for me. As it is – it is true, but sometimes I forget to do what I am writing and I become “that guy:” grumpy, tired, and unbearable.
If you take anything from this, let it be this: respect your tiredness, act on it, and find your own ways to recharge. Exercise, connect with loved ones, pray, write, mentor, or simply take a breath. Fatigue is part of life, but it doesn’t define you. Your actions do. Your resilience does. And your mission, whatever it may be, does.
So go ahead. Say it if you need to: “I’m tired, Boss!” Then take a breath. Recharge. Keep going.
Until next time:
PEACE
